Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Real Housewives Guide

I have long been a Real Housewives fan since my brother discovered RHO New Jersey on UK Channel 4, late on Sunday nights, many years ago.


A couple of years later Real Housewives of Orange County started on another channel followed by RHO New York, Washington DC, Beverley Hills, Atlanta and Vancouver.

Bravo's series also include other areas which are not currently available on ITV2 (UK) and thank god for that. I'm struggling to keep up.

DC wasn't very popular here - Housewives were too smart and savvy whereas on the other hand you had O.C which has a very tanned and blonde cast who switch sides more often than I do at bedtime but I have grown to love the OC Housewives and Tamra and Vicki are my loves.

Hey Homewrecker! has finally discovered the joys of Real Housewives and I hope the joy long continues!

Each series has a Leader, a 'victimised' housewife and endless rows and tears.

Real Housewives shows on ITV2

RHOC's Vicki and Tamra have been there from the start. Their relationship has been turbulent, to say the least, but as of the end of the last series, they are bosom buddies again. (Tamra in pink, Vicki in peach) Alex (in red) really didn't get on with Tamra and Vicki or Gretchen (mint green) and it's only now that she's kind of 'back in the fold'. How long for though?

RHoNY has the ever dramatic Ramona (those eyes!) you can't help but love her. The 'Countess' (title by marriage although now divorced and remarried) has released some seriously questionable music videos, ones featuring the Housewives themselves, and is a little bit shifty. I liked her when she first came on, no nonsense attitude but now I'm not so sure. Tall, blonde Alex, can be easily offended and her husband, Simon, can be a little chauvinistic. The other Housewives would agree. Their children are naughty. (Alex right, Ramona second from right, LuAnn, the Countess, second from left)

Watch video:

RHoA - Atlanta. What can I say. Best Real Housewives series. Atlanta is apparently the Black New York, full of celebs, music moguls and there are some very strong characters in this series, very strong. Nene Leakes, tall, Amazonian and quite frankly fabulous, was and is the star of the show. Phaedra Parkes is a small in stature but large in nature. I would not like to get other bad side. Phaedra is a lawyer and married to Apollo. As it stands, Apollo is in trouble with the law and not for the first time either. Money fiddling. Scenes of insanity were bandied about last series, 'Gone with the wind fabulous!' Is one to see. Kim met her gorgeous husband, Kroy Biermann, and had like 4 babies in no time. Kim and Nene were BFFs until it all fell apart and we all felt sad. I live in hope that they will get back together. Kandi, famous R&B(?) singer also features. I love her. She tried her best to help Kim in the studio but it wasn't really to be. Kim had a hit song though; 'Tardy for the Pardy'. (Nene far right, Phaedra far left, Kandi 2nd left, Kim is the white one)

Kim's song:

RHoBH - Lisa Vanderpump is my favourite. Lisa and husband Ken ooze glamour Dynasty style. I adore this pair. They have been married for a long time, a very long time, record standards in America. Kyle Richards and her sister, Kim, are polar opposites. Kyle, a brunette, appears to be quite grounded, whilst Kim, a child star, has her fair share of large, documented issues. Kyle and Kim's sister is Kathy Hilton - Mum to Paris and Nicky. Other BH housewives include Camille Grammar, ex-wife of 'Frasier' Kelsey Grammar and Brandi Glanville, who was insane, mother of Dean Cain, of TV Superman fame's children before he got with LeeAnn Rimes. Brandi stirred up a lot. I think she just got bored. Adrienne Maloof was brilliant, married to (now ex) plastic surgeon husband Paul, they had a few issues and split and still fight but I loved this pair. Plastic but fabulous. (L Camille, Adrienne, Lisa and Kyle R - Brandi, 3rd right Kim)

RHoNJ was the first one I saw and after a long break it's back on TV. It was drama drama drama in the first series. Danielle Staub just didn't get on with any of the Housewives and it turned quite vicious at times. At the end of the series, Danielle left but so did Caroline's sister Dina. This show is all Italian-American. Families, matriarchy and tears. Teresa Guiduice has fallen out with her brother Joe and they have fallen out big time. Teresa has a fiery temper and is fiercely loyal. Teresa and her husband, also called Joe, have had a hard time lately. Dodgy financial dealings or something. They have four girls with Italian sounding names - Audriana, Milliana etc. Jacqueline is the sweetest thought, genuinely cares and tries to solve conflict the right way without getting on sides. She had a hard time of it herself with Show Mama, Caroline, in the first season.

(L-R Jacqueline, Teresa, Caroline, Kathy and Melissa)

ITV2 has only screened one season of RHoDC so far, I liked it, I love West Wing and all that White House drama so to see real life DC was quite exciting. The cast was subdued compared to the others series, it didn't have the constant bitching or tears and didn't win too many fans.
(R - Michelle)


But the man who brings them all together at the end of each season to fight it out is the lovely Andy Cohen!

That's all for now.



Monday, 17 February 2014

Cup o' Joe

It was 10pm and I said to myself, 'I'd love a cup o' joe right now.' and then I thought, where did the expression come from?

(I'd never even used that expression before.)

Once my thirst for knowledge was satisfied I went and made a cup.





Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Shoe Admissions

A few people have queried my shoe collection as I tend to vary my footwear frequently so I got them all out, snapped them and realised I'm missing a pair of DM knee length boots (not the old school style) and DM lace ups. I omitted a few offending items that I'm not sure Bartlam could handle.

Say hello to my shoes:



I love Iron Fist shoes (above)
Mr Men shoes (top) Skull and Roses DMs (bottom)
The picture quality is rubbish. It's dark and overhead light is on but that's shamed me into giving some away.
I have three new pairs of trainers coming and need to make room.


Sunday, 9 February 2014

The Lion's Share

I've always been keen to take a peek at Las Vegas because I am literally attracted to bright lights. Las Vegas is awash with colour!

However, there is now a new reason to visit. MGM slot machine, The Lion's Share.

The machine hasn't coughed up for 20 years and the casino is keen to get rid of it. It's outdated but Gambling laws say that the machine has to stay until at least 75% of the jackpot is won. Have you seen the size of the Jackpot?

Yes. $2.3 million. 

See you on the other side! (I wish). 


Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Fast Reader?

How fast can you read? Came across an app designed to test your reading speed.

Don't rush it. You'll be surprised. Apparently I could get through Tolstoy's heavy tome, War and Peace, in just over 17 hours. I like reading, but not that much.


ereader test
Source: Staples eReader Department

(DC - 561 a minute, 124% faster than national average)



Tuesday, 4 February 2014


I came home to a most pleasant sight today. The postman clearly sensed my pain (sore throat) and decided to pop some sunshine in the letter box.


Yes. Be jel.

Top left: A couple started a project called I asked for a written, bought postcard from Elena and a hand drawn card from Andy. Andy's card arrived today! These are people I don't know. You must visit their website. I wrote a post about them last August. Here.



Bottom left: My beloved (and still living) Della Street. I wanted a sturdy bookmark so I figured I'd send myself a postcard from Big fan. You can even personalise your 'stamp' now!



My bake on a stamp! (For those outside Northern Ireland, 'bake' is slang for face).

And two marvellous cards made from original paintings by the talented Katrina Sophia! These two are my particular favourites. You can see the rest at her shop: or on her blog.


Do check out the links. Andy and Elena's postcards are ridiculously cheap and Katrina's cards are so beautiful. The tortoise is amazing.

Make someone's day and send them a post/card!


P.S I also got this week's TV guide. Sweet.

P.P.S I had to cover my address in case I got besieged by fans. Can't be too careful these days!


Monday, 3 February 2014

My Obsession with Grey's Anatomy

My obsession is ridiculous. I've been bingeing on GA and I'm now on Season 9. I've heard a few things about what happens but I swear to god, I will kill whoever blabs. 

So yeah here's what I've learnt so far - Lexie and Mark finally profess their undying love for each other and then die. They both die. *stunned*

Series 9 not doing so hot so far but that could be a good thing. I don't normally obsess about TV programmes, my favorite is West Wing, but GA - they're my homies. 

I want to be treated in Mercy West Seattle Grace Grey Sloan whatever hospital. If I have heart problems Yang will fix me, brain problems - Sheppard, though at the moment he has a bit of a sucky hand from the AWFUL PLANE CRASH at the end if Season 8, so maybe Meredith, his wife, bones? No problem. Callie will fix me. Plastics? oh wait, Mark died. Jackson might be a good sub. 


Anyone else got a TV series obsession? 

No GA today for me! Got a book I have to read for Book Group on Thursday. 

You reading anything at the moment?


Saturday, 1 February 2014


Last night Dad told me about a Church auction happening in Jordanstown. I've been on the lookout for a reading chair for almost a year now and have yet to spot one I like.

Hey! Homewrecker has a real knack of finding awesome vintage things but not me. No. Just not me.

We arrived just as the auction was starting so we didn't have a chance to look around. I browsed the catalogue but you know, pictures would be nice. The descriptions aren't always self-explanatory. E.g 'poofy' and 'toolbox with flasks'. Poufe and COOLBOX with flasks.

"Box of books - who will start me off at £4? £3? £2? £1? Ok £1, £2 over here, £3! £4 anybody? No? All sold at £3."

I was the lucky winner! I also won a file box and a shopping trolley to transport all my things to the allotment in, and a smaller set of books which I was able to see.

In all I spent £21. £10 went on some yucky painting but I wanted the ornate gold metal frame.

While Dad went off to pay for everything I went and inspected my 'box of books'.

Oh. Whoops. A TABLE full of shit books, a few bibles and most books about religious things including the Apocalypse and the third Millennium. I salvaged 5 from the lot and the rest are in the garage for the charity shops. Nasty. Dad wanted to dump them but I couldn't bin bibles. Surely that's asking for eternal damnation.

We loaded the car and marvelled over how cheap some things went for. A three-piece settee £10, beautiful mahogany table with 6 chairs £130, wardrobes your granny had £5. It was outrageous.


Still no reading chair but maybe next time.

Bible anyone?